“Hurrying children into adulthood violates the sanctity of life by giving one period priority over another. But if we really value human life, we will value each period equally give unto each stage of life what is appropriate to that stage.” – The Hurried Child by David Elkind
Children are like flowers . . .
If you water a flower too much to make it grow faster it will die, if you give too much sun it will burn, if you use too much fertilizer and pesticide it will kill its essence.
Like anything in life, everything happens in it’s own time, at the right time.
I often think; is it even possible to hurry?
Have you noticed, when you’re in a traffic jam in the morning and decide to go around it to “hustle,” you might encounter a road block, a school bus, more traffic, all red lights, etc. After all the effort you arrive at your destination at the same time you would have if you stayed calm and went with the flow on your original route.
In my opinion, getting ahead faster in traffic or in our progress at work by putting in more effort is an illusion.
Because compared to others it might seems like you’re going faster on the highway or you spend more hours studying and working . . .
But the question is, where are you compared to where you should be? And the answer is: you’re exactly where and when you should be. Whether you’re calm and steady or you hustle you will arrive when you should arrive. (That is why you may not get the promotion although you worked your but off compared to your colleagues.)
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” – Lao Tzu
You might have experienced this with your children. Your first child started to speak sooner than your second even though you were teaching them in the same way.
It often seems like parents are in competition to see who’s child walks, talks, counts, reads and is potty trained first.
Does it really matter? We all learned this sooner or later so why do we need to rush? Do you remember at what age you learned those things? Probably not, what matters is that you know them now.
For older kids the competition becomes about how many languages they speak, how fast they learned them or the number of As on their report card, how many principal awards they received, and/or how many medals they won at a tournament.
On the other hand, everyone today is into meditating and slowing down, yet we’re still rushing our children.
Why? Some parents think their child’s development is a reflection of their ability as parents (I was that parent for a while.)
Do you have a plan about what to teach, in what order and time frame? Are your beliefs really good ones in every areas of life? (Read my blog on Curriculum for raising your child.)
I believe in letting kids be kids and encourage them to live and explore every aspect of childhood. By trying to rush to teach everything they will fail to meet your expectations sooner or later. They will start to believe there is something wrong with them, and will think that learning is a burden instead of something fun and a great exploration.
We are not worried about how tall our child is or at what age their baby teeth fall out. We allow a range of a few years for their body to develop, but not for their cognitive and brain development.
Relax, and just let them enjoy every stage of their life this is their time to be children.
Are you ready?
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